Drivers Wanted

Volkswagen has it right: Drivers Wanted. That’s what I want. People who are ready to drive their f’ing cars. Fast, aggressive, getting from point A to point B as quickly as possible. Not talking on their cell phones; not trying to solve greenhouse emissions; not gibby gabbing with their friends. Green light means go. The pedal on the right gives it gas. Slower traffic stay to the right. Let’s go!

Too many times on the road I run into drivers who are clueless. They’re too busy checking their smartphones for whatever important piece of information they are waiting for. Or they have no idea where they are going. If so, pull over or pony up for a Bob Dylan voiced GPS. Then there are the people who are just driving 10 miles under the speed limit, because of incompetence or that’s how they roll or maybe they are slowing down to enjoy the roses. Out of way bub.

If we are going to cover this world in concrete, let’s do it right. Separate lanes that specify what kind of driver you are: clueless (slow, lost, CrackBerry/iPhone types, elderly, women) and type A a la the U-Scan at the grocery store. So let’s earmark some of that economic recovery money and get going.